• flatiron therapist nyc

    Nicole Matusow, LCSW

    Licensed Psychotherapist - NYC

About Me & My Practice

I see couples looking to repair/renew their relationship with their partners and individuals wanting to improve their relationship with themselves.


Major themes include: communication issues, separation, limerence, emotional unavailability, and self-attack. In therapy, we'll bring calm and self-compassion into your life as we clear out whatever's been hogging your psychic space and identify recurring themes you're ready to leave behind.

I take a modern psychoanalytic/feelings-based approach that will not only help you get to the heart of the matter in your relationship with your partner, family members, or yourself, but also will give you the language to decipher what has been giving you the feeling that something is just "not right."


I'm gentle and warm, and I go at your pace. I see therapy as a collaborative process that promotes self-understanding and self-acceptance. My job is to be finely attuned to you as we work toward ensuring that your needs are met inside and outside the therapy room.

My office is at 928 Broadway (at 21st Street) in the Flatiron area of Manhattan (10010). I also have an office in Westchester at 7 Pondfield in Bronxville, NY.

Click here to make an appointment.


My Approach

What happens in the room...

mindfulness therapy

Raising awareness...

You'll begin to create the awareness needed to create change outside the therapy room. Becoming mindful of your everyday thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will be the foundation of our work together.

cbt dbt therapy

Exploring outdated patterns of coping ...

Digging deeper into your recent and not-so-recent history is essential to unearthing old thought patterns (e.g., self-attack) and behaviors that are no longer working for you.

psychodynamic psychoanalytic therapy

Uncovering unconscious motivations...


Sorting through hidden feelings, defense mechanisms, and motivations that may be preventing you from getting unstuck and truly connecting in your relationships.


Individual Therapy

I am experienced in a range of specialties, including:

couples communication issues

Relationship Issues

Therapy can help you understand the relationship you have with yourself and those in your orbit.

Maybe you're stuck in a loop or pattern with partners or loved ones, or you find that you have people-pleased your way to having very little say in your relationships. Whatever relationship dynamics have been overwhelming you, I can help you find the empowerment you need to improve the quality of your relationships in a lasting way.

artist creativity issues

Artists/Creatives

Fear of failure or lack of inspiration might be preventing you from taking next step in your career. Or maybe, as an artist in your craft, you'd like to get to know yourself better to free the parts of you that are dusty or rusty. Either way, I can help you get unstuck and unencumbered by whatever is preventing you from honing your skills and carving out your unique path.

If you're lacking structure in your creative life, or something has been preventing you from making progress, together we'll get you back on track by helping you identify and define how you want to be spending your days.

anxiety therapy

Anxiety/Depression

It's hard to put on a brave face and act like you have it together when you're suffering. Anxiety or depression can leave filled with shame and feeling alone at a time when you need support the most.

These issues may be indicative of an underlying issue stemming from childhood or trauma. The treatment process might include both treating the symptoms and understanding the underlying causes.

object relations psychoanalytic therapy

Childhood Issues
Affecting Adulthood

From the moment we're born, we are affected by what goes on around us. In infancy, our mother (or caregiver) is our world, and we rely on her to get our needs met. We are shaped by our earliest experiences, and we develop both functional and dysfunctional coping methods.

Talk therapy can help you understand the ways in which your formative years have had an impact on your recent years.

Couples Therapy

couples therapy, therapy 10010

Whether you're having a crisis with your spouse or partner or hoping to bolster your relationship, my first order of business is to help you communicate with each other in a productive way.

Couples I've worked with often share the same sentiment: We thought we were communicating all this time. They weren't. I help couples access and articulate the underlying feelings that have been like bricks in a wall, serving as a protective barrier from emotional and physical intimacy. I also encourage partners to put thoughts and feelings into words rather than act upon them in and out of the therapy room.

Ultimately, we work toward feeling safe enough to speak freely to one another, rewiring the lines of ongoing communication.                                    




Limerence

/ˈlimərəns/
noun
The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.

I see people in the midst of a limerent episode or when limerence is (however temporarily) in the rearview mirror.

Wherever you happen to be, together we'll deal with the obsessive ruminations so you can function, and ultimately gain a deeper understanding of how limerence became both a coping mechanism and a source of pain.

If you'd like to read more about limerence, click on the following articles:




Flatiron NYC 10010 therapist

What to expect...

If you've googled "how to find a couples therapist in nyc" or "find a good therapist near me," you already know that it's no easy task sorting through the results. And then when you make a choice, not knowing what to expect is a scary notion.


Will she be warm and caring? What if I don't feel comfortable telling her things about my life? Will she put me at ease? What if she can't help me? Those things are on my mind too before we meet for the first time, because I want to make sure your concerns aren't realized. And especially that last one. I'm confident that I CAN help you through right now, and in the direction of where you'd like to be...with warmth and caring. There. Now you know what to expect.

Recent Articles

just love yourself

Limerence and Splitting


In limerence, obsessive fantasies of an idealized love object and that happily-ever-after rush are made possible by splitting the love object’s bad qualities off from the good. In object relations theory, splitting – a concept first coined by object-relationist Melanie Klein, then expanded upon by psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Ronald Fairbairn – refers to the coping mechanism whereby infants unconsciously defend against having negative feelings toward their inattentive or neglectful caregivers, splitting the nuanced array of emotions into good and bad. Fairbairn suggested that some infants compartmentalize these feelings, seeing and preserving the caregiver as the idealized object and then internalizing all the bad feelings...


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couples attacking each other in therapy

When Humans Attack Part II:
Attacking Those You Love


Watching couples communicate in my office sometimes feels like watching a tennis match. And, although there are times when I’m on the edge of my seat, I’m by no means a spectator. I see myself more as the coach, the referee, the commentator, and a supportive parent in the stands. As long as they’re not going all John McEnroe on each other, I feel equipped to play all these roles. 

Whether or not couples realize it, their pre-therapy communication often includes offensive and defensive postures. There are verbal and non-verbal strategies we learned long ago to protect ourselves in the midst of danger. And, in the case of couples, the danger is intimacy...




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limerence intimacy abandonment

Limerence as a Resistance to Intimacy


In thinking about limerence — the sensation of being obsessively infatuated with another person with a strong desire for reciprocation, and which I’ve written about more in depth here — I found myself pondering the relationship between the fear of intimacy and the fear of abandonment. Although it seems like these fears oppose one another, in limerence especially, both fears coexist...













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