• flatiron therapist nyc

    Nicole Matusow, LCSW

    Licensed Psychotherapist - NYC

About Me & My Practice

I see couples/family members looking to repair or renew their relationships and individuals wanting to improve their relationship with themselves.

Themes include limerence, judgmental self-talk, people-pleasing, difficulties in conveying thoughts/feelings, and familial ruptures. I'm approachable and direct, and I focus on being attuned to you and your experience. Our sessions will provide you with a clearer picture of who and where you want to be in your life.

I take a contemporary psychoanalytic/feelings-based approach that will not only help you get to the heart of the matter in your relationship with your partner, family members, or yourself, but also will give you the language to decipher what has been giving you the feeling that something is just "not right."

I see therapy as a collaborative process that promotes self-understanding, self-acceptance, and curiosity about your experience of being you. My job is to be finely attuned to you as we work toward ensuring that your needs are met inside and outside the therapy room.

Your race, ethnicity, culture, sexual orientation, gender identity/expression/fluidity, and spirituality are all valued and respected here.

I'm currently working in-person and via teletherapy. My office is in the Flatiron area of Manhattan (10010).

Note: I am an out-of-network provider.

Click here to make an appointment.

My Approach

What happens in the room...

mindfulness therapy

Raising awareness...

You'll begin to create the awareness needed to create change outside the therapy room. Becoming mindful of your everyday thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will be the foundation of our work together.

cbt dbt therapy

Exploring outdated patterns of coping ...

Digging deeper into your recent and not-so-recent history is essential to unearthing old thought patterns (e.g., self-attack) and behaviors that are no longer working for you.

psychodynamic psychoanalytic therapy

Uncovering unconscious motivations...

Sorting through hidden feelings, defense mechanisms, and motivations that may be preventing you from getting unstuck and truly connecting in your relationships.

Individual Therapy

I am experienced in a range of specialties, including:

couples communication issues

Your Relationship with Others

Therapy can help you understand the relationship you have with those in your orbit.

Maybe you're stuck in a loop or pattern with partners or loved ones, or you find that you have people-pleased your way to having very little say in your relationships. Whatever relationship dynamics have been overwhelming you, I can help you find the empowerment you need to improve the quality of your relationships in a lasting way.

artist creativity issues

Your Relationship with your craft

Fear of inadequacy, mediocrity, or success might be preventing you from taking next step in your creative projects. Or maybe, as an artist in your craft, you'd like to get to know yourself better to free the parts of you that are dusty or rusty. Either way, I can help you get unstuck and unencumbered by whatever is preventing you from honing your skills and carving out your unique path.

If you're lacking structure in your creative life, or something has been preventing you from making progress, together we'll get you back on track by helping you identify and define how you want to be spending your time.

object relations psychoanalytic therapy

Your Relationship with yourself

From the moment we're born, we are affected by what goes on around us. In infancy, our mother (or caregiver) is our world, and we rely on her to get our needs met. We are shaped by our earliest experiences, and we develop both functional and counterproductive coping methods.

Talk therapy can help you understand the ways in which your formative years have informed your recent years. We'll also use this work to understand what might be getting in the way of self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Couples Therapy

couples therapy, therapy 10010

Whether you're having a crisis with your spouse or partner or hoping to bolster your relationship, my first order of business is to help you communicate with each other in a productive way.

Couples I've worked with often share the same sentiment: We thought we were communicating all this time. They weren't. I help couples access and articulate the underlying feelings that have been like bricks in a wall, serving as a protective barrier from emotional and physical intimacy. I also encourage partners to put thoughts and feelings into words rather than act upon them in and out of the therapy room.

Ultimately, we work toward feeling safe enough to speak freely to one another, rewiring the lines of ongoing communication.                                    


The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.

Therapy: I see people in the midst of a limerent episode or when limerence is (however temporarily) in the rearview mirror.

Wherever you happen to be, together we'll deal with the obsessive ruminations so you can function, and ultimately gain a deeper understanding of the origins of your limerence, i.e., how limerence became both a coping mechanism and a source of pain.

Consulting & Psychoeducation: If you would like to consult to understand your limerence better, click here.

If you'd like to read more about limerence, click on the following articles:

Flatiron NYC 10010 therapist

What to expect...

If you've googled "how to find a couples therapist in nyc" or "find a good therapist near me," you already know that it's no easy task sorting through the results. And then when you make a choice, not knowing what to expect is a scary notion.

We'll have a 15-20 minute zoom consultation so we can meet and discuss what compelled you to reach out. If we both decide to move forward together, with ongoing therapy, you'll see an overall change in self-compassion (as opposed to self-judgment), self-acceptance, and emotional availability.

Recent Articles

limerence shame self-abandonment unconditional love

How Your Limerence is Fueled by Shame and Self-Abandonment

In therapy, my calling attention to a patient’s continual rejection and criticism of one's attraction to limerence often evokes a sobering mix of clarity and sadness. I've seen individuals in limerence hoping to rid themselves of it like an emotional exorcism. Obsessing about and longing for a stranger, a celebrity, a teacher, a friend, or an ex elicits shame and the desire to excise the shameful part of oneself to feel normal again. 

What’s shameful about wanting to be wanted and loved? When I’ve asked that question in session, I’m met with sentiments like it’s selfish and childish or I’m angry with myself that I can’t get past it...

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limerence psychic retreat unconditional love

Limerence: A Psychic Retreat

Psychoanalytic practitioners of all persuasions have theorized that infants psychically retreat into an ideal and omnipotent fantasy space in order to cope with anxiety that stems from breaks in the caregiver/child connection. When distress calls prove fruitless, some infants defend against distress by fully retreating into fantasy with a romanticized object who is perfectly attuned to the infant. The fantasy satisfies the infant’s need to feel wanted and cared for. Although this false protective construction fosters a false confidence, hopelessness and fear of a motherless world is quelled, for now. Relief from the terror of the void provides a blissful experience worth revisiting....

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limerence origins unconditional love

Exploring the Origins of Limerence as Self-Soothing

Infants are unable to communicate their needs, therefore, they lay crying in their cribs longing for their needs to be met. Predictability and attunement train us to be patient and have faith that we will be cared for. An unpredictable or misattuned caregiver necessarily compels an infant to construct a set of self-soothing skills out of the fear that they have been abandoned and need to survive. I’m thinking about rocking, thumb-sucking, and limerence...

Limerence has qualities that feel reminiscent of the crying infant pining for its inconsistent caregiver. If the fear of abandonment is instilled in us for survival, then securing unconditional love is the primary objective. Perhaps someone under the influence of limerence is persistently...

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Nicole Matusow, LCSW

Individual Therapy | Couples Therapy | Group Therapy

NYC | Bronxville

New York, NY 10010

Bronxville, NY 10708